Before the update, let me start with my latest revelatory disclaimer lol
Something I’ve come to accept about myself since starting the trauma-informed training 3 weeks ago, is how much I need integration time.
I need time and space to process what I’m taking in mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Eating, moving, orgasming, bathing, sleeping, praying, stretching, daydreaming, laughing, crying, connecting, and watching anime are fundamental for our well-being and capacity to do anything.
I accept that that’s what I need to do for as long as I need to do it before I feel free to share.
So, while it has always *sounded* like a sweet idea to blog daily or even weekly, that structure doesn’t make room for my natural way of being, so it’s owt.
And this feels truer for me than overcommitting to writing for the blog or inbox and then feeling like I’m behind—it’s really an annoying and unnecessary cycle.
And I MAKE THE RULES, so boom.
My way of moving through the world is to research deeply, sit with the information, experiment in the real world, and then share what did and didn’t work for me.
Because what good is theory if we’re not practicing it? if it’s not relevant to our day-to-day lives?
And because we know things are constatnly changing, shifting, and evolving—more frequent updates might feel fun and sustainable for me in a few months or years.
That being said, I want to update you on how the trauma-informed training is going so far and share some of the things new practices I’ve been dancing with these last few weeks.
First, the breath.
What I’ve been studying and practicing in and out of the training is breathing.
It’s something we all do, but most of us didn’t learn how to do it mindfully or why it even matters.
Inhaling activates the sympathetic nervous system (stress response) and exhaling activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest + digest).
A deep breath in feels invigorating and a slow exhale feels calming and relaxing.
To re-lax is to lax again.
To loosen up, let go of restrictions, release control, and take it easy.
we lax again and again, because we’re never in a constant state of calm, and breathing helps us get back to the present moment and to our bodies.
That is a mad simplified explanation of the process, but how cool is it?
I remember when I first started being intentional about tea time last year and how good it felt to sip slow with my jazz mix on low and my incense burning.
For me, it was an embodiment practice.
It was a ritual that felt really good to me that helped me make space to notice what I was feeling in my body.
It was and is an intentional way for me to balance all of the mental energy I use(d) regularly with being fully present in my body.
It helps me settle in.
But if tea is not your thing, the breath definitely should be.
These days, along with custom herbal tea blends, a style of breathwork called the “Psychological Sigh” is my jam. It gets its name for how it hits the brakes on anxiety + overthinking and stimulates deep relaxation.
If you’ve ever felt like you wanted to take your head off so you could quiet the noise, you might like this one.
✨TRY IT YOURSELF✨
Take two short breaths in through your nose into your belly and then exhale slowly out through your mouth.
Repeat those two steps as many times as feels good and calming or until you fall asleep lol.
Don’t worry if your mind starts drifting 5 seconds in, the purpose is to notice—not judge or fix—just to observe the breath and body.
Whether I feel activated and need to regulate, I’m anxious about having a certain conversation, or I simply want to practice being more present, the breath makes space where I feel tight, overwhelmed, or rigid. I like to say it can go to places the mind cannot, trust it.
Now, feeling the feels.
Another one of our embodiment practices besides breathwork was to “Prioritize feeling.”
I spend A LOT of time in my head, thinking and ideating and daydreaming and strategizing, and too much of that creates an imbalance because we are not only our minds, we’ve got bodies and spirits.
When it comes to feelings and emotions, I was taught to minimize and compartmentalize.
Feeling depressed? Remember how blessed you are.
Feeling anxious? Don’t pray and worry.
Feeling excited? You can’t express too much because that’s not safe.
Feeling big feelings you don’t know how to name or articulate? Neither does anyone around you, so welcome to the supression club.
Years later, this looked like me not realizing that I was not processing my emotions AT ALL, and was actually locking them away inside.
That’s what happens when we’re taught safety is in pushing through and our value in our ability to not feel.
say hello to toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, and emotional cut off
Riiiiiiiiight, so that’s not what I’m on anymore.
I came into this lifetime to be fully human and experience the spectrum of living, which includes feeling all the things.
So I’ve been mindful to thank my brain for doing her duty to protect and keep me safe with diligence and fervency, while also passing the mic back to the body.
Everything comes back to the body with its mystical brilliance, practical wisdom, and ancient intelligence.
Prioritizing feeling has looked like being present to notice when I’m trying to think my way out of a problem vs. when I need to be feeling my way to the solution.
And lately, the solutions have been to trust myself, my Knowing, my breath, and my play.
To breathe and create a moment to ground before I speak, type, or text.
To have faith that the right way is the way that is right for me and only I have the power to decide what that looks like.
To ask and receive my tribe in holding me when I can’t hold myself and need the support.
And to remember that god is in all of this shit.
I could go on and on, so I’ll just say the training is everything and more that I expected it to be, just like Morocco was.
that’s it for now. that’s the update.
I’m thankful for the ability to change and for support in reclaiming my wholeness.
Thanks for reading and I hope you Don’t Forget To Breathe. ❣️
P.P.S. The Nap Bishop is on her book tour and I’ll be at the activation here in Chicago Saturday 10/15 @ The Connection. Grab your ticket here if you wanna tap into this rest, care, and community.